Monthly Archives: November 2010

Just when I thought I was only talking to myself!!

Ok. Ok.  I’m trying to stay calm here.  Breathe, Heather.  Breathe.  Dammit I wish I knew that lamaze breathing shit……

What am I all breathless over, you ask?  I HAVE FOLLOWERS!!!!!  That’s right kids, followers!  People that not only read my blog, but put their name on here TELLING me that they follow it!  Me!  Little ol’ me!  I started this blog because I couldn’t stand what The Devil  Facebook was doing to my days/life but still wanted to have a way to share things with my family & friends.  (I mean, really…..who hand writes letters anymore?)  I didn’t know what I was doing when I started this thing, but I have to say that I really, really enjoy it!  I may not have anything profound to talk about and maybe my writings are just about silly crap that amuses me, but at least it’s more than a one line “status update” about what I’m cooking for dinner.  I like having to put some thought and effort into creating a new post.  It’s fun!  I encourage anyone to try it.  And it’s not only fun coming up with and composing my own posts, but, finding other bloggers that I like and reading their stuff.  It’s like a treasure hunt! 

So, thank you to the people that actually read this.  Double thank you to anyone who actually leaves a comment; (how come no one does this here?)…..and a huge sloppy TRIPLE thank you to the 2 followers that I have.  You made my day.  Seriously……made me smile big.

As a sort of post script, I would like to say that I don’t think FB is silly or stupid and I certainly don’t think either if those things about people that use it.  I will probably go back on the FB one day because it is a good way to feel like you are still a daily part of the lives of people you care about.  I think that I just needed a “reset” for the way it was/was not working for me.

Ok, now I’m just going to sit here, watch my Family Guy and enjoy the happiness that comes with knowing someone reads my shit.



Have Yourself A Very Axl Christmas

In 1991 Axl Rose, of the band Guns N Roses, was charged with inciting a riot after he walked off stage during a concert in St. Louis.  Poor decision?  Yes.  Premeditated.  I doubt it.  How then, are big retail stores on “Black Friday” any different?  I’ll tell you how.  Advertising a 50 inch plasma television for $800 will certainly get the adreniline pumping just as much as the guitar shredding Rocket Queen musical stylings of GnR, right?  The difference is that I’m sure even good ol’ Axl didn’t start out the show with the intention of having people go ape shit and start tearing the place apart, beating the ever lovin’ crap out of each other.  Ads like this one incite the same riotous behavior.  The difference?  This shit is planned in advance…..

! Caution: Ad causes douche-like behavior in humans!

What are people thinking when they head out to shop on Black Friday?  We all see it happen year after year.  Yet everyone still seems so shocked when things go horribly wrong.  Remember the Tickle Me Elmo fiasco of 1996?

“A Walmart clerk in Fredericton was taken to hospital with broken ribs and a concussion after a crowd of overzealous parents stampeded down an aisle to snatch up a fresh shipment of Tickle Me Elmo plush toys just 11 days before Christmas.” –

The human race saddens me sometimes.  Watching these news reports makes me feel ashamed to be a part of the same race as the people who participate in the carnage that, every year, is Black Friday.  Hedonists.  What a proud moment  it must be for them to stand there, victorious in their mission to claim their imported trinkets, with a man’s blood on their shoes.  Yes, a man was killed in a consumer stampede at a Long Island Walmart.  Killed.  What does this say about us as a country?  As humans?  Shame, shame, shame.



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[heed-n-ist] Show IPA



a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification.

This is why, for the most part, I choose not to participate in the holiday madness.  And that’s what it is to me, madness.  The pressure to make sure you get everyone that perfect gift…..the stress we endure in our travels during the “season”…..pressing our finances to the absolute limit to make it all happen.  F that.  Not for this kid.  I don’t need to put myself through all of that in order to let my family and friends know that I love them.  And I certainly do hope that they know it; all year long.


Bad Blogger on a Snow Day

It snowed.  It snowed about 3 inches and the city of Seattle is just about paralyzed.  I chuckle a bit over this because I’m a Colorado native.  My husband is a Minnesota native.  However, those places are always prepared for snowy, icy roads and such.  Seattle, apparently, is not.  I get it.  If you only get “this much” snow every few years, it makes no sense for the city to spend money on such things as de-icers and snow plows.  So, I had a snow day and stayed home.  No buses were running and as Bruce’s co-worker said, “I only put on chains to get to my home, not to get out of it.”  I like the way he thinks.  I’ve been cozied up to my fireplace most of the day and feel like I should have taken the time to update this blog more.  But I didn’t.  Whatever.  I’m still a bit grumpy over this whole tooth situation and I’m pretty sure no one reads this anyway.  Gobble Gobble.

I don’t feel like thinking of a title for this post

I’m grumpy because I broke a tooth.  I have to go to the dentist.  I hate dentist.  Boo. I can’t eat anything but soup so I’m hungry.  I can’t see the dentist until Monday which means I’m going to be a pissy little bitch for the next 5 days.  A hungry, pissy, anxiety filled little bitch with low blood sugar. Both of my jaw joints are artificial so it makes a trip to the dentist not just uncomfortable, but downright painful and difficult.  Yes, I’ve been known to have big fat tears pouring down my cheeks during a routine cleaning.  And the visit always takes 3 times as long because I have to make them stop every 5 minutes so I can rest my jaw.  It’s also next to impossible to get a decent x-ray when both sides of your head are filled with metal.  The one time I saw a dentist that was more than happy to give me the happy gas ended up being a big fat fail too because apparently I don’t breathe while I’m in that chair. Happy Gas + no air intake = ineffective.  Boo again.

So I just found out about this…

Yeah, they shoot fireworks off of the flippin’ Space Needle for New Year’s!!!  Whaaaaaaat???  Screw Thanksgiving and Christmas……I’m counting the days until NYE now.  

Makin’ it last all day, baby

So it’s Saturday again.  I think we all know how I feel about this day. (<—- Holy crap! That’s my first link!) However, I have decided not to bitch about it this time.  Nope.  I’m gonna turn this frown upside down, turn a negative into a positive or whatever corny ass phrase you wanna use.  Since I’m here for not just nine hours today, but eleven, (who’s the asshole that makes this schedule anyway?) and since only about 2 of those hours will be filled with actual work related activities,  I will, in an effort not to lose my mind completely, blog blog blog the rest of those hours away.  That’s right kids!  Get ready for a knee slappin’ hootinany of a good time! Cuz it’s only 7:15am and I’m here ’till 5:30 baby.  Yup, I’ve got all day to make this happen…..  Now, where to start? 

I should step outside for a smoke while I mull it over. Explore my options if you will….

I have some recognitions to make. 
I would like to thank some people and things for helping
me through this seemingly never ending day.  I’ll start with

my iPod.  Without this handy little fellow I would sit in
utter silence or be at the mercy of Grooveshark to provide me with
sweet sweet melodies to get me through my day.  And since Grooveshark either freezes
my computer every 15 minutes or simply doesn’t seem to
work at all sometimes, iPod wins the recognition.  Along with
this thanks, I should also thank my husband and myself for having such great taste in music, thus filling my iTunes with the musical stylings of such artists as Death Cab for Cutie, Incubus, Johnny Lang, The Rolling Stones, AFI, Motley Crue (don’t judge me) and many, many others.  Well done.

                            Did anyone notice I snuck a photo of myself in over there? —->

The next “good game” (you know, when professional athletes slap each other on the ass?) goes to one of my favorite authors, Ann Rule. Yup, I’m slappin’ Annie and this book on their asses for their contributions to my Saturdays. Actually, they help me every other day of the week too, but we’re talkin’ Saturdays right now.  Although I am only 53 pages into this one, I’m sure it won’t dissappoint.  If you’ve never read an Ann Rule book, you suck.  Just kidding.  Jokes, baby, jokes.  She is an awesome writer of true crime.  Since I’m one of those people who loves shows like Forensic Files, Dateline, Wicked Attraction, Deadly Women etc, etc, Ann’s books have always been page turners for me.  Plus she lives here in Seattle (or
near it?) so I feel like she’s my neighbor now. Bonus.

Crap.  It’s only 9:00.  I better slow down……

I probably should have started with this one.  Coffee.  Yeah, I’ve got the kind of time to rearrange things and put this at the top, but I kinda suck at getting pictures and text to work well for me in this blogging thing sooooooo…..I’m not gonna risk effin’ it all up at this point.  Ok, so, since I have to be here so early on this day, my husband drives me to work and I don’t get to hit my usual coffee place that I do the rest of the week.  It’s fine.  Tully’s isn’t my fave and I don’t buy it for my home or anything, but here in my office we have one of those Keurig machines and my company supplies the coffee, creamer, sugars, cocoa and all that shit.  Who am I to complain about free coffee?  I’m generally pretty much at a normal level of being awake and alert when I get here, but about an hour or so later I start thinking how I could totally fit under my desk with my coat balled up for a pillow and take a little snooze.  And if someone should happen to need me and show up at my office door –  “What?  My speakers came unplugged, that’s why I’m down here.  What can I do for you?”  Enter stage left: Tully’s Extra Bold House Blend coffee doctored up with chocolate creamer and cocoa to become Heather’s “Poor Man’s Mocha”.  Sweet.

Ahhhh, YouTube.  What a wonderful way to piddle away hour upon hour at work the office.  Where else can you start out watching cute kitten videos and end up watching metal splitting car crashes and poorly shot cell phone clips of police brutality?  This little gem was started by 3 friends from PayPal for a mere $3.5 million dollars.  In less than a year Google purchased it for $1.65 BILLION.  Way to turn a profit boys.  Nonetheless, YouTube has been a wonderful Saturday friend for me.  And for that, I say “thank you”.

Ok…..almost lunch time.  Only 6 1/2 hours to go.  Damn.

So this isn’t just a Saturday thing, but I’m gonna include it anyway, because I just had lunch.  Free lunch.  Yes indeed, as an employee of this fine establishment our wonderful culinary staff prepares a fantastic lunch every day.  Today it was yummy beef fajitas, black beans, veggies, potatoes, salad and a bonus: PASTRIES!!  We don’t always have pastries (thank goodness) so yay for me today!

I should totally take a few minutes and do some filing or run a report of some kind or I’ll start feeling guilty.
Plus, I need to burn some more time or I’m gonna run out of crap for this post.  It’s only 12:30…..

2:00pm……I absolutely did some work.  On with the show.

Warning – Bubblefish Bob could cause blindness

 Ah yes, here’s a good one to be thankful for.  Simple online puzzley (yeah, I said puzzley) games.  There are so many of these that I can play on a day like this. I often end up overdoing it with this activity so my vision is absolutely blasted by the end of the day and my glasses are completely useless to me.  If I had it my way I would just bring my laptop to work where I actually have cooler more challenging games downloaded.  (It’s not a good idea to download crap like games onto your work computer – just sayin’) I’m a nice person though, and I don’t want to leave my husband stranded all day long with no computer.  So, Muchas Gracias  A friend indeed.

This is ridiculous.  I gotta start wrappin’ this bitch up.  Who can blog for an entire day?  I don’t have that kind of stamina.

Some of the best for last.  It’s not just blogging that I have to thank for helping me get through this dreadful day and fill my time, but this guy!  (sorry, no photo cuz I didn’t want to steal his stuff) Peter has a wicked pisser blog that I love. Fabulous photos, great writing skills and funny shit too.  Boxing grannies, dog deuces AND quilting??  Holla!!  His photos truly are great and totally inspiring to me.  Makes me want to convert my “Restore my Mustang” fund into a “Buy a decent camera and learn how to take photos” fund.  So, here’s to you Mr. Triton Cove!  Thanks for making this day just a little more tolerable.  You rock, my friend.

And now we end this nonsense and I’ll get back to my book or my pastries or something.  It’s kind of a teaser for me to even be mentioning it this much in advance since I do have like 3 hours until the greatest part of a Saturday spent at work happens….

Yeah……adult beverage time. ‘Till next time,


Post Script – I’m gonna try and think of something better than this bullshit to post on Saturdays.  I promise. 

This made me pee my pants a little…