In my last post I said I was going to take the time to make some changes in regards to this blog and how and when I update it. Well I accomplished the writing space thing. It’s pretty fucking awesome you guys. Then that very same day my laptop took a shit on me. Really, Universe? REALLY?
I do have my tablet but there is no fucking way I’m attempting to edit photos and write the eloquent and insightful wonders that you come here for on that tiny thing. Not fucking happening. So Bruce’s friend who is a computer sorcerer looked at it and reported the problem back to me but I don’t speak computer so I just pretended I understood and told him to do whatever hard-driving he needed to do to get it working again.
So, in the meantime I thought I would share a funny conversation I had on The Facebook the other night. I only have my fam on The Facebook so this thread did have some family stuff in it that I removed. “D” is my cousin’s daughter whom I will always refer to as one of my nieces and “M” is my cousin. Female. But you fuckers are smart and probably would have figured that out. Please note that D doesn’t call me Aunt Heather but Crazy. I love that. Usually it’s Aunt Crazy. WTF, D?
ME: What a beautiful day it was! The sun was shining and it was great to have all the doors and windows open. Did a few loads of laundry, went foraging for food stuffs and bought a really cute summer top that, quite frankly, makes my boobs look fantastic.
D: Jesus……….lmao…. you are too much
ME: Well Jesus probably doesn’t approve of my admiration of my own boobs. But someone has to appreciate them besides Bruce and my neighbors with binoculars.
D: lmao you are cracking me up…
D: When are you coming out here again?
M: Does that shirt help all boobs sizes look amazingly big???
D: oh lord Aunt M…. now you want one too I take it
ME: D – I’ll be out in December for the wedding! Get ready! M – I’m positive it would! I’d post a pick but now that my dad is all Facebookin’ it up with your moms I don’t want to freak the little guy out!
D: Who’s getting married in December? No one tells me anything I usually have to find out through my parents lol.
ME: M and M. Or did I dream that in a cocktail induced euphoria??? A dress has been purchased and an event was created so, yeah, I think it’s a real thing. Kerr-ist girl, I live like 7 states away and I know this! (it might not be 7 but I don’t have a map in front of me. Shut up.)
D: comment edited You are too much Crazy. But good I am glad, I hope to get to spend more time with you when you come down.
comment removed because it’s family shit Internets
comment removed because, well you know why
M: comment edited How did we get from a beautiful day to boobs to wedding? lol I love my family ♥
ME: I’m all boobs, family and weddings all the time. I roll hard like that.
M: You so need to be here for J’s graduation!!!
D: comment removed
D: SHE does!!!! I agree
D: Get out her CRAZY!!!!!!!!!
D: comment removed
ME: I SOOO need to be there for a lot of events but stupid work and life and miles and stuff fuck with my great intentions. Not to worry though, I’m going to make my millions soon knitting hats. Yes, I knit. And crochet. I’m also a 75-year-old prairie wife from the 1940’s.
M: comment removed
D: comment removed
ME: comment edited Mo, you should come for a West coast visit with them… *wink wink winkety wink*
M: I would love that!! I will start to play the lottery in hopes I can win big. Or maybe I’ll gamble a little this weekend before P’s graduation……You never know!
D: I love you ladies!!
ME: Hey, when did we stop talking about my boobs?
M: Your boobs are fabulous!
D: Yes they are just so WONDERFUL AND PERKY AND I am NOW leaving this conversation ‘cause its just weird…………….. lol …………. Just joking
ME: My boobs apologize. I think. They only speak Amazing and I only speak Awesome. You’d think we would all get together on our communications but really when you think about it it’s two against one. On that note of weirdness, I’m out. Good night you guys. I feel for the people who stumble upon this thread over their morning coffee. Or Kahlua. Whichever. I don’t judge.
M: Peace out!!
ME: I’m totally posting this thread on my blog tomorrow.
Cheers ~ SF