Sometimes I Wonder Who I Married

My husband is not a texter.  Never has been.  However, since I upgraded him to a smart phone a few months ago he’s made an effort to try it.  He’ll send a text from time to time because he learned how to use the voice-texting feature.  He has fat fingers.  No!  Muscular fingers.  Yeah.  Tonight I asked him to text Super Glue to find out when he was arriving to cook the almost out-of-fucking date chicken that he had brought over and left in our fridge.  Bruce went with the voice texting option.  Internets, it didn’t go well.

This is what he said:

This goddamn chicken isn’t going to cook itself!

This is what was sent:

Just got damn chicken listen to cook itself.

~

Here is another thread of texts I found on his phone while NOT being nosey:

Bruce: I will see you in hell

Bruce:  Ribs

Super Glue: Let’s golf and get some eggs

Bruce: The Mayans are fucking up my golf swing

Bruce: stop wobbling and agree with the fucking guy

Super Glue: We look like a pair of tits

Bruce: Heather needs a red onion and a tomato

~

These two need to work on some flow.  Or stop smoking peyote.

 

These are NOT the hands of a texter.

Cheers ~ SF

Advertisements

About Noodles and Gin

I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation. View all posts by Noodles and Gin

15 responses to “Sometimes I Wonder Who I Married

Go Ahead......Leave A Comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: