My mom reads this blog. I know! You must be stunned. I talk with my mom often because she’s a goddamn bit of alright, Internets. Sometimes I write things that she is proud of and she tells me so.
“I read your blog today, Heather. It was really good. You’re a good writer.”
“Oh mom! I’m not a writer! OH! But if you run into anyone who knew me ‘back in the day’ you should totally work it in to the conversation that your daughter is a writer! Say it like you’re all proud so they’ll be all impressed, OK? OK??”
Mom let’s out a little laugh, “OK, Heather.”
Then I think about how it would go if she actually did this. I imagine it would go something like this:
Mom runs into Lydia, the mother of one of my high school friends (That’s a made up name because, come on, I’m old and there’s no way I could remember any of those old lady’s names)
“Jean! Wow, it’s been so long! How are you? More importantly, how is that beautiful and talented daughter of yours? I haven’t seen that stunner in forever! I bet she’s doing amazingly well. I always knew she was destined for great things. Soooo, what’s she up to?”
“Well, Lydia, she’s doing great! She’s happily married to a fabulous man and they live in Seattle.”
“Ohhh! How wonderful! What does she do?”
“She’s a writer!”
“Wow! A writer! That’s amazing! Where can I read her?”
This is where my mom thinks about this blog and the writings it holds.
“Did I say she was a writer? I meant to say she was incarcerated. We’re all very proud.”
Cheers ~ SF