So Many Things!

Holy shitballs, Internets!  It has been quite a week, eh?  There’s been mouth rape, a movie screening,  I made a new blog award and now I have a hoard of new followers!!  Apparently boobs are quite popular and my new award is tearing it’s way through the blog world as we speak.  Go on little fella; go make the world a better place.   Why would a “Nice Rack” award make the world a better place?  Because people like boobs.  They make people smile.  They put people in a better mood  And with the state of things in the world right now, happy smiling goodness is just what we all need, right.?  Well, that and cocktails.  So for my new blog award I say, you’re welcome, Entire World.

This guy…….

… a blog pimpin’ god.  He also likes it when I use ipso facto in a post.  It seems that most of my new readers trust his word and possibly the word of his Evil Twin enough to have scurried on over here from his place after this post; which cracked my ass up and possibly made me fall in love just a titch.  Thanks Bruce!  You, my friend, are golden.

Now, there is still the matter of this movie review I promised before the mouth rape incident on Monday.  For those of you who are new to this dog and pony show of a blog I’ve got here, I went to a screening of Kevin Smith’s (Bob of Jay and Silent Bob) new film, Red State on Monday.  It won’t be released in theaters until October but I’m a high roller and decided I wanted to see it while he was on the road with it and doing a Q&A bit as well.  You can read about it here and here if you like.  The thing is,  Roger Ebert I am not.  I don’t know shit about reviewing films other than “That shit was awwwwesoooome” or “What the fuck did I just watch?”  So, I do believe I’ve promised something I can’t deliver.  I will say this: it’s a good movie.  Freaky religious weirdos, guns, horny teenagers and holyshitIdidn’tseethatcoming! type of moments peppered all through it.  Go see it this fall.  You won’t be disappointed. 

I’ll leave you with some tidbits from Mr. Smith’s introduction of the film.  Because he is, after all, a funny motherfucker.

When referring to members of the Phelps family* wanting free tickets to his screening in Kansas City, Kevin sarcastically said this:
– “Oh, God hates fags but apparently he loves a discount?”

Kevin encouraged others to make their own signs to peacefully and in good fun protest the Phelps family and/or their supporters that were there protesting his film. Here are some examples he gave:

– His gay friend Malcolm Ingram made a sign that said “DICK TASTES YUMMY” 

– Some kids from the school near the Sundance film festival had signs that said “GOD HATES HOMEWORK” 

– And some guy had a sign that had Wicket the ewok with a circle around him and a line through it.  (I don’t care who you are that shit is funny!)

Because, Kevin said, “Anyone can write horseshit on a sign.”  Word, Kevin.  Word.

I wrote down some other shit from the show, but I can’t read my handwriting.  And, yes,  I am absolutely blaming that fucking dentist for it.  What a dick.

*In case it wasn’t clear in this post, I think these people and those associated with their nutbar church are lunatics.  I am embarrassed to have them as members of our species. 


About Noodles and Gin

I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation. View all posts by Noodles and Gin

21 responses to “So Many Things!

  • Mamma

    Cheers my fellow Heather! Bruce is an incredible guy. Love your post, I am a new follower and sometimes not nearly as funny or interesting as you. Stop by somtime. 🙂

  • bruce

    awwww you are so fucking cool…thanks for the blog love! (you two mamma!)my allergies may be acting up a little!*wipes tear*i always love to pimp my peeps… pimpin is my bi'ness and bi'ness is good!as i said to Jewels, one on my favs, who recieved this awesome award…you RACK! you do, SF you so do!and will wait anxiously for Kevin's new movie…i think, really, god hates haters…rack on my pretty!

  • bobo

    I am so glad to have joined and witness the rise of your award. It's pure genius! And that Phelps clan, ugh. They're just in it for the money too. Hoping they'll get punched so they can sue. God has nothing to do with them.

  • A Beer for the Shower

    I love Bruce in a completely heterosexual way and I have a new found love for this blog in a completely platonic way. And not just because of the rack award… though I'll say it certainly didn't hurt matters…Now, where can I purchase one of these no-Wicket signs?

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Mamma – Cheers back at ya! That Bruce….he is somethin' else! Glad you stopped by. Please, make yourself at home.Bruce – Allergies, eh? Rack on is right, buddy!!Bobo – That award was genius, wasn't it!! I agree; the Phelps family, ugh! They're fuckin' looney tunes.OT – Thank ya, sir.BFTS – You seem to have lots-o-love! I've been lovin' your blog for a while now. Oh, if you find one of those 'No Wicket' signs you better get one for me!!JD – Huh? What's that you say?


    I think I will be stalking and anal raping Bruce with my mind asap! 😉

  • Bushman

    It's nice to get a movie review from someone who doesn't know shite about movie reviewing. It seems more trusting this way. I've dropped $50 bills all over Siskel and Eiberts ass only to end up pissed off. (and broke)

  • Katsidhe

    You definitely deserve a humanitarian award for creating the Nice Rack Award, my darling.~ It is indeed making the word a better place, one boob at a time. ;-)I hope your mouth is feeling better, too, love. *mwah!*

  • Random Girl

    Yes, I agree with Kat, the world is indeed a better place because of your nice rack award. Hell, I even got it twice last week, must be because they are perky because they aren't big. But Jewels and Kat love me anyways and its back at all three of you lovely bitches! As for Bruce, I trust anything he says….anyone that uses FUCK that often has to be legit.

  • The Barreness

    Several things:1. I'm DELIGHTED to hear the Mr Smith has a new flick out (And I heard it here first. Bloody England and its slow release of quality American entertainment…)2. I approve wholeheartedly of the celebration of breasts, and not just because I have such a stellar pair myself. Kat was an excellent choice indeed. Well done.3. I am LOVING the photos down the right side of your blog. I'm a huge fan of portrait photography, particularly when it captures something intimate or unexpected in the subject.4. I don't believe I've popped by before, and I consider that a grave shame, as the party over here is a very good one indeed. As such, I am henceforth stalking you, webby style. Try not to get too excited. – B x

  • Bouncin' Barb

    Bruce is my awesome "Little Brother". He is the bomb. Not just the F-Bomb! Yes, your award made it my way and then I got to me you after that so it's just so cool to be blogging. Nice post. Damn dentists!

  • Rafa

    Ami I still the only male with the nice rack award? Or just the first one? Ya it's pretty awesome. I'm planning on making some room on my page so I can proudly display it permanently.BTW, I'm waiting for the next Tea Party rally here in AZ. I'm planning on making my own retarded sign maybe "I have nothing to say" or "THis is a big ass sign" or "Get off my lawn" IDK yet I'll figure it out and share when it happens.

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    TC – Easy now!! Don't you think my mouth rape was enough rapin' for one week??Bush – You do have a point there! Let me try again: The film moves very quickly so pay attention – no potty breaks or going to get popcorn in the middle of it. They don't spend alot of time giving a shitload of useless backstory on the characters which works just fine for this film. There are no good guys or heroes to save the day which I fucking loved! There is just enough dark humor in it to elicit a few laughs at key points, KS style. Other than a radio playing in the background or a character singing, there is no score in this film. I liked that because sometimes the the goddamn creepy violin building up shit tells you how you should be feeling at that precise moment in the film. No score = you are on your own with the scene and how and when to react. There. How was that?Kat – For some reason I knew you would see things just the way I do!! I'm feeling much better, doll. Thanks.RG – Perky ones are just absolutely wonderful!! And that Bruce…..*sigh*….what can I say? :o)Barreness – Well color me tickled! I have been stalking your blog for so long that I am in need of a fan to cool myself over the fact that you are here! I hope you like it. Boobs, photography and film reviews! What's not to like, right? Cheers! And welcome. Cocktails are served all day and smoking is always permitted.Barb – That Bruce is a little bit of alright!! He's my new blog crush!Rafa – As far as I know you are the first AND only male to recieve it. I hope people made their way over to see your awesome space. And you should display that shit permanently! You have spectacular taste in the ladies, my friend!! My fave is the "This is a big ass sign" Good stuff! But if I find one of those No Ewok signs I'll send it to you.

  • Dawn @Lighten Up!

    I TOLD you your rack award was the shizz-nit. Now you are bad – you are nationwide, bay-bay! (WTF with me and the gangsta talk? I am just a silly little white girl) Glad you enjoyed the movie, I will def check it out in fall. And congrats on the new followers! I always recommend the sexy talk to gain peeps.

  • Suniverse

    Every time I come here, I'm a little more in love with you.I love Kevin Smith, too, and am so jealous you saw him. I think my favorite sign ever is DICK TASTES YUMMY. It works for every occasion.

  • hed

    Heather, I am like a proud momma. Everyone should be reading your blog, for real.But if you get all big and popular and forget about the little people I will find track you down just so I can say "don't you KNOW who I AM?" like a boss.I pimped you out on my blog today. It's kind of becoming a thing.hed

  • Laura

    I want to punch every member of the Phelps family in the throat.

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Dawn – You are a seer of the future, woman! Suni – I feel the same way about your blog. Maybe you could use "Dick Tastes Yummy" for one of your cross stitch pillows in your etsy store? Huh? Yeah?Hed – I would never forget you my friend! Cuz you's mah pimp!!Laura – You and me both!!! Fuckin' lunatics.

  • On My Soapbox

    Bruce rocks!P.S. Gods hates hypocrites. Suck on that, Phelpses!

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