When Bruce and I moved to Seattle back in June, we noticed some things about the Emerald City right off the bat. Three things in particular stood out to me. For a while I was a bit perplexed by these things, but I think I have it all figured out now. I shall conveniently number them for you. Then I will bless you with my explanations.
1. There are a shit ton of mattress stores in Seattle.
2. There are a shit ton of coffee shops in Seattle.
3. There are a shit ton of people with messy hair in Seattle.
Number one. For a while I was completely baffled by this. I wondered what could be going on in this city that was making everyone so sleepy. Then, winter came and it all made sense. It gets dark here at 4 o’clock in the afternoon and the sun doesn’t rise until 8 o’clock in the morning. So, it’s dark for, like, 20 hours a day. Ok, not 20 hours but 16 hours of darkness makes for a lot of sleepy time. And that much time spent in bed is gonna make that sucker wear out. Or, maybe there are just an abundance of people having the sex. All. the. time. Maybe. Either way, there are a lot of fucking mattress stores here.
Number two. I get it. Seattleites loves them some java. Starbucks was started here, yeah, yeah, yeah. But seriously, does coffee have to be partnered with every goddamn thing in the city? Espresso and Laundry, Espresso and an Oil Change, Espresso and a Dental Cleaning, Espresso and Tattoos and on and on it goes. Of course, when you take in to consideration the aforementioned amount of darkness and sleeping, perhaps one needs caffeine at every stop they make in order to accomplish all daily tasks at lightning speed. You know, before the darkness comes.
Number three. Now, I’m not one that should be judging the state of other people’s hair, since mine is usually just thrown up in to a half assed crazy bun job on a daily basis. But, there is some seriously bad hair in Seattle. I totally understand why now. You might think it’s because of #1. Bed head. Perhaps, but I know another reason. I figured it out the first time I spent an arduous 2+ hours straightening out my ‘fro, only to step outside and have the rain undo all of my hard work. I knew right then and there the reason for the shitty hair I’d been seeing everywhere. The rain (or the high probability of it) makes people have a “why bother” attitude when it comes to their tresses. I feel ya, people. I feel ya.
photo credit John Gusky