I Think I Get It Now

When Bruce and I moved to Seattle back in June, we noticed some things about the Emerald City right off the bat.  Three things in particular stood out to me.  For a while I was a bit perplexed by these things, but I think I have it all figured out now.  I shall conveniently number them for you.  Then I will bless you with my explanations.

1.  There are a shit ton of mattress stores in Seattle.

2.  There are a shit ton of coffee shops in Seattle.

3.  There are a shit ton of people with messy hair in Seattle.

Number one.  For a while I was completely baffled by this.  I wondered what could be going on in this city that was making everyone so sleepy.  Then, winter came and it all made sense.  It gets dark here at 4 o’clock in the afternoon and the sun doesn’t rise until 8 o’clock in the morning.  So, it’s dark for, like, 20 hours a day.  Ok, not 20 hours but 16 hours of darkness makes for a lot of sleepy time.  And that much time spent in bed is gonna make that sucker wear out.  Or, maybe there are just an abundance of people having the sex.  All. the. time.  Maybe.  Either way, there are a lot of fucking mattress stores here.

Number two.  I get it.  Seattleites loves them some java.  Starbucks was started here, yeah, yeah, yeah.  But seriously, does coffee have to be partnered with every goddamn thing in the city?  Espresso and Laundry, Espresso and an Oil Change, Espresso and a Dental Cleaning, Espresso and Tattoos and on and on it goes.  Of course, when you take in to consideration the aforementioned amount of darkness and sleeping, perhaps one needs caffeine at every stop they make in order to accomplish all daily tasks at lightning speed.  You know, before the darkness comes.

Number three.  Now, I’m not one that should be judging the state of other people’s hair, since mine is usually just thrown up in to a half assed crazy bun job on a daily basis.  But, there is some seriously bad hair in Seattle.  I totally understand why now.  You might think it’s because of #1.  Bed head.  Perhaps, but I know another reason.  I figured it out the first time I spent an arduous 2+ hours straightening out my ‘fro, only to step outside and have the rain undo all of my hard work.  I knew right then and there the reason for the shitty hair I’d been seeing everywhere.  The rain (or the high probability of it) makes people have a “why bother” attitude when it comes to their tresses.  I feel ya, people.  I feel ya.


photo credit John Gusky


About Noodles and Gin

I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation. View all posts by Noodles and Gin

9 responses to “I Think I Get It Now

  • Oilfield Trash

    I can't really say much as I have only been there once. And it was for a 4 hour layover at the airport.

  • Vinny C

    When you think about it, the coffee & dental cleaning thing makes a lot of sense. It's like when they gave kids lollipops after a visit. It's all about the repeat business.

  • Random Girl

    So I take it you aren't working for the Seattle Tourism board?? J/k, I totally still want to visit there, although I feel I missed the peak coolness of the early 90's grunge movement there… oh how I love flannel shirts…

  • Katsidhe

    You just blew my mind. It all makes sense now. O_O

  • hed

    Now I want to live there EVEN MORE.Coffee and mattresses are pretty much my idea of heaven. Maybe a brownie in my other hand.hed

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    OT – It really is a great city. Too bad it was just a lay over you had here!Vinny – I totally get that! And I'm not shitting about the dental office and espresso thing. I was offered one at the office of one endodontist. (sp?) I was all, wtf? I'm not going in there, opening my mouth all wide with coffee breath for that hot ass doctor! Apparently, they just don't care here. Hmmm.RG – Hahahaha! I didn't even realize that it seemed as though I was somehow dissing this city. Just randomly weird observations. I love this place! Oh, by the way, still plenty of flannel here for your enjoyment.Kat – Blown mind? You're welcome.

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Hed – Crap. Your comment must have come in while I was commenting. We somehow crossed paths in the Blogmenting process. Yes. I totally just made that word up. Coffee and mattresses? I have both of those aplenty in my house if you ever care to have visit. Brownies? Not so much, but can easily be arranged!!

  • hed

    Your house is just full of coffee machines and mattresses? Freaky! I knew I liked you!I forgot to tell you I choo choo choose you for the "giggle button" on Jumble Mash's blog:http://jumblemash.blogspot.com/2011/03/giggle-wiggle-and-jiggle.htmlYOU'RE WELCOME. :Phed

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Hed – Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I saw a new follower today and, of course, went directly to her blog. I loved it and followed it. I didn't know about the giggle button but I am so so SO fucking flattered!! You….you sneaky little vixen, you! Love ya!!!

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