Shit Sneaks Up On Ya.

For those of you that are new to this blog, feel free to click the photo of Bob to your left.  The rest of this post may make more sense.

I watched the movie Brothers tonight.  I was all, “Yeah, I heard this was a great flick.” and all. 

I stupidly walked into a movie that was going to remind me of my own feelings about the recent death of a loved one.  Fucking cinema.

It doesn’t matter that the film has absolutely nothing to do with the way Bob died.  It’s the feelings that are triggered by watching something that reminds you of that dreadful call that you are one short on your list of living family members. That shit shoves you, so rudely, back to the exact moment when you received the aforementioned, life changing news.

I ended up, at one point, sitting in my smoking corner of the dining room, crying; puffing away on my ciggy, rocking back and forth with a kitty in my lap while tears streamed down my cheeks.  My mind kept asking questions that it could not answer.  Anyone who has lost a loved one knows what these questions are.  I do not care to rehash those questions at this point.

As I set my laptop aside to go have another ciggy, I passed a photo of Bob that I keep on the mantle and I paused.  It’s a photo of him as a small child.  It’s black and white; printed on that old school, thick photo paper.  All I could think as I passed that photo was,  “What the fuck happened to you?”

SF

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About Noodles and Gin

I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation. View all posts by Noodles and Gin

9 responses to “Shit Sneaks Up On Ya.

  • Katsidhe

    I'm so sorry for your pain, love. You know from the comment I left on the post how much I can relate. Unfortunately because I can relate, I also know that there really isn't anything to be said that can make the pain ebb when it flares like this.I've just tried to think about it as it only hurts so much because I loved him as much as I did (and do), and how at least I had that.My email is always open to you, sugarplum.Sending you virtual hugs,Kat

  • Vinny C

    When my wife lost her younger brother she took it harder than anyone on the family. As much as she has learned to deal with it over the years, I know she still hurts over his loss.She keeps his baby picture close by too.

  • Random Girl

    Strength and peace to your heart, love.

  • Oilfield Trash

    The loss of a loved one will do that to you. Even Father Time can not heal those wounds.

  • Oilfield Trash

    Oh and to make you giggle and smile…Shit doesn't just sneak up on you, shit also sneaks out of you too. lol

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Thank you all for your words. This random crying over the loss of him is happening less and less as time goes by, but when it does hit me, it hits me hard and from out of nowhere. You guys are great.And OT, you did make me laugh. And that, my friend, does not suck. **hugs**

  • Sunny

    Isn't it rude how it does that?? I know the feeling well. Sorry you got hit with a trigger. Hopefully you followed that movie up with something nice and juvenile and chalk full o fart jokes. I find that dumb jokes help keep the universe balanced after an unexpected visit from grief.

  • Heather (aka Sugar Free)

    Sunny – I did, indeed find humor asap. Thank Jebus for funny bloggers! Good to see you around again, lady! Your words are always helpful and insightful. :o)

  • hed

    Hugs.It will get easier with time. There may always be things that remind you of losing him, but it gets easier, I promise.That's all I've got.Much love, hed

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